A finch's plot

We always knew it would be hard, living here, although I never dreamed it would become untenable. We came with every intention of putting a brave face on things, knuckling down to work and pressing on with the Aussie visa application, and now it looks like we're being forced to move back to Spain. The news last Friday that we were ineligible for Child and Working Tax Credits came as a bit of a blow, but the implications of that have only just worked through into reality: the simple fact is, we lived in Spain for so many years that we no longer have automatic residency in the UK.

The reasoning behind the Benefits Agency's decision is based largely on the fact that we have no National Insurance contributions to our names since the last millennium; this, combined with our express intention to move away again as soon as possible, means we basically fail the UK government Habitual Residence Test. Unless we pay £28,453.75 in back-dated NI contributions and agree to remain entirely self-sufficient for the duration of our stay, we're basically obliged to leave as soon as possible, which for us means a return to Barcelona.

This is all new to us. While we've been away, a series of legislative moves have progressively tightened the rules on migrant EU workers, including those UK nationals returning after long periods working abroad. Despite a landmark ruling against the new residency laws in 2004, the UK government are successfully refusing any and all benefits to migrants, even to returning UK passport holders. This means "benefits" in the broadest sense of the word, so we are expected to pay for everything – doctors, hospital treatment, refuse collection, child immunisation, state school fees, everything – which would normally be free, or at least will be free when we move back to Spain.

I wouldn't care, but the Child Benefit claim that sparked all this off is for a pittance, compared to the tens of thousands we'd need to pay in back-dated tax. It's a pittance compared to the cost of a week's supply of nappies and Fruit Wheats, come to that. We always expected moving to Australia to be difficult, not to mention expensive, but the fact that it will be less traumatic once we're back in Spain is reason enough to cut our losses sooner rather than later. Suffice to say, when the letter from the immigration authorities arrives, as it surely will, we'll be long gone. And when the migrant finches are absent from your bird feeders this summer, bear in mind it's probably nothing to do with climate change; more an avian statement that you can take your peanuts and the flimsy cage you keep them in and stick them where the sun don't shine.

(addendum: just in case it's not already obvious, the title of this post should be mixed up and taken as you read it...)